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Secretly, and I would never admit it to Lola (who had now told me I wasto refer to her as "Mistress"), I had partly enjoyed what she had justdone to me, the humiliation of being dressed as a woman before beingraped as one by one.I rubbed my new "vagina" under my skirt but over my panties."I like the way the way you do that."I looked up at the mirror and saw Kate was standing behind me watchingme."That could be part of your act."Did she see me as a man or a woman now? For that matter what did I seemyself as now?It was hard to think of myself as a man any more. The manner in which Ihad just been penetrated was not the sort of thing that happened to aman was it? And since waking up this morning the costumes I had beenwearing were unmistakably feminine.And, if I had felt foolish going into a strip bar I used to frequent,dressed as a French Maid earlier this evening and reporting to the Madamas her new cleaner, or if I felt foolish as I was compelled to performas a stripper as another. . never mind. I shouldn't ask that." You have a right to ask it, Brian. You proved that on New Year's. The answer is no. That's why we broke up." You told him no." He told me no." Oh, shit." I should be happy, right? He saved my virginity. He kept his promise. He said, 'We can wait.' What more could a girl want? And then he said that maybe it would be better if we weren't together all the time and maybe we should see some other people." Brenda was crying in my arms again, our lunches forgotten on the table. I glanced up and there were tears sparkling in the eyes of all my special girlfriends and of Doug and Rachel, too. They were the ones close enough to see what was going on. It was the first time I realized that Rhonda was sitting on my other side, quietly eating her lunch with one hand, her other hand laid softly on my leg. I looked back to Brenda and took a big risk."Uh ... Brenda. I know what you said at the lake a year-and-a-half ago, but I signed the agreement and we're not.
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